Twitterholic (noun): A person who is wildly addicted to Twitter. See: @Call_Me_Bookish
You know that you’re addicted to Twitter when:
- You think in 140 characters.
- You use hashtags in places other than Twitter. They express what’s in your heart, and in such a concise manner!
- You talk about your Tweeps in your real-life, often referring to them as “my friend _.”
- You dream about Twitter and/or your Tweeps.
- You have been threatened with a “Twitter-vention.”
- You’ve written a book that was inspired by your Tweeps! (Kathy Lynn Hall, I’m talking to you. You are fabulous!).
- You begin to think things like “Oh my God, I have to tweet about this later.” or “My Tweeps are going to love this!”
- You delete and repost a tweet when no one responds to it. You have enough Tweeps, someone out there has to comment!
- You schedule check-ins with your Tweeps.
- Twitter is your primary way of getting world news.
- You get a billion Twitter emails each day, it’s more than half of your inbox (another 1/4 are friends’ blog posts, and the last 1/4 are miscellaneous emails- work emails, chain emails from your Uncle Larry, cat and dog picture emails, and of course, spam).
- You check your interactions tab every half hour, except when you’re sleeping.
- You go on Twitter when you can’t sleep or when you wake up during the night.
- You’ve contemplated getting a Twitter-related tattoo. The FailWhale icon will look bitchin’ on your calf.
- You know the first and last names of at least fifty Tweeps and can probably type about 15 of their usernames from memory.
- You refer to your Tweeps as “My little pretties.” Maybe that’s just me…
- You talk to some of your Tweeps more than you talk to the real people in your life: neighbors, coworkers, your Mom…the list is endless.
- You feel the need to tweet during important events: Superbowl, award shows, the birth of your child, etc. It feels like a civic duty.
- You start introducing Tweeps to other Tweeps. “I noticed that you both love Bukowski and live in the same city, I think you’d hit it off!”
- You have a newfound respect for certain celebrities because they’re just like you – Twitterholics. P.S. Stephen Fry is the man! #LoveHisTweets
- You have a small breakdown whenever Twitter changes its layout. Ok, big, big, big breakdown. It’s like the tworld is over!
- You’re friends tweet you, rather than text you. (They know they’ll get a faster response.)
- No matter how many followers you have, you are genuinely thrilled whenever you get a new one! You may or may not do some sort of happy dance.
- You feel the need to defend Twitter when a non-Tweeter says something nasty about her. Hey, they don’t know Twitter!
- You say goodnight to your Tweeps, but somehow don’t sign off for another hour (let’s be honest, two hours)! One of your favorite Tweeps @mentioned you, and you just had to hear how the job interview went.
- You really feel like Twitter already has and will continue to save the world.
Dear Lord, give your bloodshot Twittered-out eyes a rest and log off of Twitter right now! I love you, My Little Pretties…I mean, Tweeps. <3
